January 7, 2021
I woke up today feeling run over by a truck. This, just as I got some much needed rejuvenation over the holidays and was so hopeful yesterday.
This morning, exhausted, groggy and dull, I scrolled through the headlines, emails, and FB, bombarded with calls to sign this petition, text these congress people. Each article spoke of impeachment or the 25th or even reasons why not doing those might be better in terms of Trumps ultimate consequences.
There is still the worry that whatever happens to him, a fascist nation has been fully awakened, fueled by this horrible man Trump, who I remember very well from multiple personal interactions with him when I lived in NYC. Who knew that this vapid egoist ladies man robber baron who was just another New York character would become this? I do not hate... and am struggling with wanting to hate him for what he's grown into and done. But he could not do it unless others helped. Should I also hate the people who jumped aboard? Not just politicians but for some of us, our friends, neighbors, relatives, co workers?
Hate is not the way.
What do I do with the feelings that I have around seeing these blatantly two-faced politicians suddenly doing a 360 at the 12th hour, speaking about following rules and doing the right thing as if we can't see through them -- Barr, Pence, Graham, McConnell - when they have been complicit in the ruin we all faced for the last 4 years (and all the years this agenda was building before that)? How awful it must be to be them. Best to leave it to their own souls to speak to them. They may be burying that voice now, but there will be a time it will be deafening.
The papers talk of our enemies rubbing their hands together with glee to see this - and that our allies are again losing confidence when we were just on the brink of their relief and faith that we had elected someone sane and balanced, who they know well and can work with, and, to see we had voted in a congress that would accomplish things rather than serve only as a 4 year road block to essential repair.
I was thinking, there will be no consequences - all these heinous acts, all the court cases, every criminal that did not sing, or was silenced, or agreed to a deal and will be pardoned... and Trump will abuse every loophole to pardon his family and himself - even the NY lawsuits -- and go on to have a voice to keep fueling this group and wants to run again? His family also wants to blindly propagate this and keep the power and ultimate luxury on the dime of each one of us.
And almost 40% of the population is not only OK with this, but has awarded him over 200 million of their nickles and dollars to use any way he wants. All done in broad daylight... And this is all legal?
What has happened to our world and my fellow man? I was just beside myself this morning. Despairing. This is not my MO. And I also don't want to give in to letting these methods we've seen work on the masses through history work on me.
I believe Biden is the right person for the moment. He will at least work to bridge the divide, consistently, rather than feed it. And over time that will soothe and reduce some of that 40%. He will surround himself with smart, qualified, experienced, energetic people, and he will listen to their expertise and counsel. He is capable of discussing ultimate decisions with those people and act in good faith to benefit everyone in the country, not just a sector.
He will do what he can immediately to restore things that mean most to us that Trump squashed around climate, the arts and human rights, rejoining with allies... and those things alone will set us on a better track for the next 4 years, no matter what.
He has his hands full with this divided country - and having first to deal with wrangling a GLOBAL pandemic, health care, education and the economy. Wall Street boomed when he was announced as president on 11/7 --though Trump claimed responsibility— and it rose again today when the electoral votes were confirmed. But we know that is not the true measure of the economy. Having people working, with a roof over their head, food on the table and security, good trade around the world, solid US manufacturing, affordable, quality education for our own... and reducing our debt. That is the true measure, none of which we have now.
Yes, a pandemic and healing the state of our people will be added to by all the usual issues, pre-pandemic... Korean missles, Middle East struggles etc rising to the top again. That requires a strong, dedicated, wise team around a president and I do have faith that can now be built thanks to yesterdays voters in GA. And I trust that most of my friends who are so upset that the government now has a democratic leaning will come to feel they actually have much better lives as a result... because:
After 4 years of a sane, dignified and stable presence, and restoring what can be of our foundational essentials, it will put us in a far better place than we are now. And because it will be inclusive, it will be a new place - and there is enormous potential there.
Today's outrage should propel change so all the people who should lawfully face consequences for their actions, like the rest of us would have to, will. Let all our terrible feelings be the light to accomplish justice for all. But there must be balance to be sure we are productive with those feelings, not crushed by them.
And that is how I'm going to face today, and tomorrow and the next day.
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